Tuesday, July 11, 2006

A quest to loneliness

Loneliness amidst people, happy when I am alone. Still, very popular among people.What's the reason?

Loneliness amidst people - Even when I am among my closest friends, I am still faced by the solemn fact that no one will ever completely know or understand me.

We all want to be understood, right? But no one will ever understand us... Sometimes, we don't even understand ourselves! When we can't be understood, when we start realizing that fact, when even our closest friends don't and can't understand... This leads to a despairing loneliness amidst people.

Happy when I'm alone - Solitude can take us away from life's bustle, away from the people that can't understand, away from the daily distractions. When we get away from those, our mind can calm down and think clearly. When we are calm and our mind is clear, it is more peaceful, and this peace, though temporary, can bring happiness to some extent.

I feel lonely most of the time - hence I talk and sing to myself, a lot. I guess it's because I put up strong defenses against people, which isolates me, but keeps me protected from being hurt. And I'm afraid that people won't like me.

What a bummer....!