I look at myself in the mirror, where do I belong? Yearning for the seemingly impossible, that space inside remains empty still. Try as I may I still have not found what I'm looking and wishing for.
When we first met, you told me exactly how it would be that you couldn't spend all your time with me. But as the time went by I started feeling strange, something that was deep in my heart, something I can't explain. I cried, you weren't there when I needed you just to feel your touch. Time after time, how many times do I have to give in? I could not afford another breakdown.
"Swept me away but now I'm lost in the dark
Set me on fire but now I'm left with a spark"
I'm through thinking of things to say to you. I've said enough and so have you. I'm lost inside the paradise, I must have been all alone in love.
I've lost hope, and I'm giving up.
Now I've realized that I've got to move on.
It might be hard, but I got to move on...
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
None
Take with you all our memories
Forget all about the berries and cherries
There is nothing more to cherish
Because you left me in anguish
I am now so much stronger
When you look at me
I am now so much better
You will think of me
Forget all about the berries and cherries
There is nothing more to cherish
Because you left me in anguish
I am now so much stronger
When you look at me
I am now so much better
You will think of me
Monday, September 04, 2006
And I thought you love me more than you do....
Saying I love you is like jumping into a hot soup! It's a curse!
Once you utter the magic words, you literally set a boundary between you and them, leaving them in the comfort zone while exposing yourself to the danger of insecurities. It's better left unsaid, for people tend to take you for granted once you tell them that you love them. You'll burn yourself when your basic needs couldn't be met, and you'll get frustrated. You talk, you let them know what you feel but they just don't want to listen to your needs. They expect you to fully comprehend, but they refuse to see what you see. They would rather keep you with them, fully aware of their inability to attend to your needs, leaving you feeling hurt and desperate and wanting. You beg for love, for attention and passion but still they refuse to give and hurt you more. Where are you heading to? Nowhere. So what's the point of going through that over and over again just to be hurt?
I'm tired of waiting, I swear. I refuse to go back to that phase. I refuse to be treated like a beggar. I refuse to be a love pariah. No more!
So that's the end of it.
As the sun goes down, another love story ends.
Once you utter the magic words, you literally set a boundary between you and them, leaving them in the comfort zone while exposing yourself to the danger of insecurities. It's better left unsaid, for people tend to take you for granted once you tell them that you love them. You'll burn yourself when your basic needs couldn't be met, and you'll get frustrated. You talk, you let them know what you feel but they just don't want to listen to your needs. They expect you to fully comprehend, but they refuse to see what you see. They would rather keep you with them, fully aware of their inability to attend to your needs, leaving you feeling hurt and desperate and wanting. You beg for love, for attention and passion but still they refuse to give and hurt you more. Where are you heading to? Nowhere. So what's the point of going through that over and over again just to be hurt?
I'm tired of waiting, I swear. I refuse to go back to that phase. I refuse to be treated like a beggar. I refuse to be a love pariah. No more!
So that's the end of it.
As the sun goes down, another love story ends.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
You know.....
.... I've been thinking.
You're incredible, so irresistible. And it is undeniable.
I think I have been falling in love with you!
You caught my eyes and then you grabbed my heart right away. I felt your good vibrations right from the start and I can't seem to bring myself to say the words to you.
Contemplating, constantly debating, but I'm so in love. I don't want to move too fast, I want to make sure that this is going to last.
I just think it is too easy to know that there is always someone who loves you for who you are, deeply. And, you tend to take them for granted, knowing they will always be there to love you no matter how ridiculous you behave.
I'm sorry for taking you and your feelings for granted.
I've been afraid to tell you. But I hope you want me too...
You're incredible, so irresistible. And it is undeniable.
I think I have been falling in love with you!
You caught my eyes and then you grabbed my heart right away. I felt your good vibrations right from the start and I can't seem to bring myself to say the words to you.
Contemplating, constantly debating, but I'm so in love. I don't want to move too fast, I want to make sure that this is going to last.
I just think it is too easy to know that there is always someone who loves you for who you are, deeply. And, you tend to take them for granted, knowing they will always be there to love you no matter how ridiculous you behave.
I'm sorry for taking you and your feelings for granted.
I've been afraid to tell you. But I hope you want me too...
Monday, August 28, 2006
In the state of......
M I S E R Y mis·er·y (mz-r)
[Middle English miserie, from Old French, from Latin miseria, from miser, wretched.]
"Our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances"
Martha Washington
n. pl. mis·er·ies
1. a. The state of suffering and want as a result of physical circumstances.
1. b. Mental or emotional unhappiness or distress.
2. A cause or source of suffering.
3. Informal A physical ache or ailment.
Thesaurus
Noun
1.
misery - a state of ill-being due to affliction or misfortune; "the misery and wretchedness of those slums is intolerable"
wretchedness
ill-being - lack of prosperity or happiness or health
concentration camp - a situation characterized by crowding and extremely harsh conditions
living death - a state of constant misery
woe, suffering - misery resulting from affliction
2.
misery - a feeling of intense unhappiness; "she was exhausted by her misery and grief"
sadness, unhappiness - emotions experienced when not in a state of well-being
[Middle English miserie, from Old French, from Latin miseria, from miser, wretched.]
"Our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances"
Martha Washington
n. pl. mis·er·ies
1. a. The state of suffering and want as a result of physical circumstances.
1. b. Mental or emotional unhappiness or distress.
2. A cause or source of suffering.
3. Informal A physical ache or ailment.
Thesaurus
Noun
1.
misery - a state of ill-being due to affliction or misfortune; "the misery and wretchedness of those slums is intolerable"
wretchedness
ill-being - lack of prosperity or happiness or health
concentration camp - a situation characterized by crowding and extremely harsh conditions
living death - a state of constant misery
woe, suffering - misery resulting from affliction
2.
misery - a feeling of intense unhappiness; "she was exhausted by her misery and grief"
sadness, unhappiness - emotions experienced when not in a state of well-being
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Hey, you...
It has been a while since the last time we met. You've been quiet since, and I've been missing you like you're gone already. But the way you smiles tell me that you could see that maybe we were two of a kind. And I don't think I'll ever get you off of my mind.
Heaven knows that I'm no angel, just flesh and bone like all the rest. If you ask me, no, I won't ever walk on fire but I can only love you like a man. All I can give you is my best.
Now things are feeling fine. Look all around us, there's nothing but blue skies; gone are the dark clouds that had us down. So please take my life and make it real.
Quit this silence, I'm missing you more than you could ever know....
Heaven knows that I'm no angel, just flesh and bone like all the rest. If you ask me, no, I won't ever walk on fire but I can only love you like a man. All I can give you is my best.
Now things are feeling fine. Look all around us, there's nothing but blue skies; gone are the dark clouds that had us down. So please take my life and make it real.
Quit this silence, I'm missing you more than you could ever know....
Monday, July 24, 2006
Brokeback Mountain
By E. Annie Proulx
Copyright (c) 1999 by Dead Line, Ltd.
"I ain't no queer"
"Me neither. A one-shot thing. Nobody's business but ours."
The fourth summer since Brokeback Mountain.....
Friend, this letter is a long time over due. Hope you get it. Heard you was in Riverton. I'm coming thru on the 24th, thought I'd stop and buy you a beer. Drop me a line if you can, say if you're there.
You bet!
"Old Brokeback got us good and it sure ain't over."
The closet was a shallow cavity with a wooden rod braced across, a faded cretonne curtain on a string closing it off from the rest of the room. In the closet hung two pairs of jeans crease-ironed and folded neatly over wire hangers, on the floor a pair of worn packer boots he thought he remembered.
At the north end of the closet a tiny jog in the wall made a slight hiding place and here, stiff with long suspension from a nail, hung a shirt.
He lifted it off the nail. Jack's old shirt from Brokeback days. The dried blood on the sleeve was his own blood, a gushing nosebleed on the last afternoon on the mountain when Jack, in their contortionistic grappling and wrestling, had slammed Ennis's nose hard with his knee. He had staunched the blood which was everywhere, all over both of them, with his shirtsleeve, but the staunching hadn't held because Ennis had suddenly swung from the deck and laid the ministering angel out in the wild columbine, wings folded.
The shirt seemed heavy until he saw there was another shirt inside it, the sleeves carefully worked down inside Jack's sleeves. It was his own plaid shirt, lost, he'd thought, long ago in some damn laundry, his dirty shirt, the pocket ripped, buttons missing, stolen by Jack and hidden here inside Jack's own shirt, the pair like two skins, one inside the other, two in one.
He pressed his face into the fabric and breathed in slowly through his mouth and nose, hoping for the faintest smoke and mountain sage and salty sweet stink of Jack but there was no real scent, only the memory of it, the imagined power of Brokeback Mountain of which nothing was left but what he held in his hands.
Postcard "Scene a Brokeback Mountain." -- thirty cents -- he pinned it up in his trailer, brass-headed tack in each corner. Below it he drove a nail and on the nail he hung the wire hanger and the two old shirts suspended from it. He stepped back and looked at the ensemble through a few stinging tears.
Around that time Jack began to appear in his dreams, Jack as he had first seen him, curly-headed and smiling and bucktoothed, talking about getting up off his pockets and into the control zone, but the can of beans with the spoon handle jutting out and balanced on the log was there as well, in a cartoon shape and lurid colors that gave the dreams a flavor of comic obscenity. The spoon handle was the kind that could be used as a tire iron.
And he would wake sometimes in grief, sometimes with the old sense of joy and release; the pillow sometimes wet, sometimes the sheets. There was some open space between what he knew and what he tried to believe, but nothing could be done about it, and if you can't fix it you've got to stand it.
"Jack, I swear -- "
Copyright (c) 1999 by Dead Line, Ltd.
"I ain't no queer"
"Me neither. A one-shot thing. Nobody's business but ours."
The fourth summer since Brokeback Mountain.....
Friend, this letter is a long time over due. Hope you get it. Heard you was in Riverton. I'm coming thru on the 24th, thought I'd stop and buy you a beer. Drop me a line if you can, say if you're there.
You bet!
"Old Brokeback got us good and it sure ain't over."
The closet was a shallow cavity with a wooden rod braced across, a faded cretonne curtain on a string closing it off from the rest of the room. In the closet hung two pairs of jeans crease-ironed and folded neatly over wire hangers, on the floor a pair of worn packer boots he thought he remembered.
At the north end of the closet a tiny jog in the wall made a slight hiding place and here, stiff with long suspension from a nail, hung a shirt.He lifted it off the nail. Jack's old shirt from Brokeback days. The dried blood on the sleeve was his own blood, a gushing nosebleed on the last afternoon on the mountain when Jack, in their contortionistic grappling and wrestling, had slammed Ennis's nose hard with his knee. He had staunched the blood which was everywhere, all over both of them, with his shirtsleeve, but the staunching hadn't held because Ennis had suddenly swung from the deck and laid the ministering angel out in the wild columbine, wings folded.
The shirt seemed heavy until he saw there was another shirt inside it, the sleeves carefully worked down inside Jack's sleeves. It was his own plaid shirt, lost, he'd thought, long ago in some damn laundry, his dirty shirt, the pocket ripped, buttons missing, stolen by Jack and hidden here inside Jack's own shirt, the pair like two skins, one inside the other, two in one.
He pressed his face into the fabric and breathed in slowly through his mouth and nose, hoping for the faintest smoke and mountain sage and salty sweet stink of Jack but there was no real scent, only the memory of it, the imagined power of Brokeback Mountain of which nothing was left but what he held in his hands.
Postcard "Scene a Brokeback Mountain." -- thirty cents -- he pinned it up in his trailer, brass-headed tack in each corner. Below it he drove a nail and on the nail he hung the wire hanger and the two old shirts suspended from it. He stepped back and looked at the ensemble through a few stinging tears.
Around that time Jack began to appear in his dreams, Jack as he had first seen him, curly-headed and smiling and bucktoothed, talking about getting up off his pockets and into the control zone, but the can of beans with the spoon handle jutting out and balanced on the log was there as well, in a cartoon shape and lurid colors that gave the dreams a flavor of comic obscenity. The spoon handle was the kind that could be used as a tire iron.
And he would wake sometimes in grief, sometimes with the old sense of joy and release; the pillow sometimes wet, sometimes the sheets. There was some open space between what he knew and what he tried to believe, but nothing could be done about it, and if you can't fix it you've got to stand it.
"Jack, I swear -- "
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Sometimes it's easier to give up than cry and keep on living in those lies...
It was all those things you said to me, it was all those lies I believed in. I guess now that you stand higher than anyone else in this world, so fragile that it's hard to touch you, so pure and so beautiful, it was all so hard to see (or I was too blind to be).
Killing me in your heart; love is gone, the deepest touch and all is done.My speeding heart is overloaded. I got to know what's going on.(My baby cheated on me. The whole world turned its back on me. He left me here in this misery. In my deepest fears,I lost my love.)
I thought that we had fallen in love. But somehow I felt the thousand nails in my heart; so deep that I couldn't scream, so deep that I couldn't even breathe. It was all those things you said to me. Every lie that you made me believe... It was all so beautiful, so bright and true.
My eyes staring at you, watching it all go wrong.
Killing me in your heart; love is gone, the deepest touch and all is done.My speeding heart is overloaded. I got to know what's going on.(My baby cheated on me. The whole world turned its back on me. He left me here in this misery. In my deepest fears,I lost my love.)
I thought that we had fallen in love. But somehow I felt the thousand nails in my heart; so deep that I couldn't scream, so deep that I couldn't even breathe. It was all those things you said to me. Every lie that you made me believe... It was all so beautiful, so bright and true.
My eyes staring at you, watching it all go wrong.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
It's a troubled heart and a troubled mind
He is in my shadow everywhere I go. I'm walking on a thin line, when I turn around there's no one there.It's a real bad sign; a fool in love with a fool that never cared...
Now that I'm all alone and scared to stay, I'm slowly going out of my mind. How could I be so blind to those pretty lies and alibis?
"Are you the keeper to the gates of wisdom?"
-Yes. I am.-
"Please let me in, I just can't go through another heartache again."
Everywhere I look the sun is shining, but it's always raining here inside. He was my strongest weakness (to whom I surrendered my heart and soul). Until I regain control, it's gonna be a long, long time to heal. I'm afraid he'll always be.
I'm a prisoner, held captive by his memory...
I gave my faithful heart to someone. I could never understand how he held my little world in the palm of his hand. So if this pain will ever end, will I be afraid to risk it all to ever fall in love again? Now he's gone and life goes on.
And so it goes .... another lesson gets learned
And in the big book of experience, another page gets turned
Sayang kamu, rindu kamu, mau kamu! is nothing but a sweet lie.
Now that I'm all alone and scared to stay, I'm slowly going out of my mind. How could I be so blind to those pretty lies and alibis?
"Are you the keeper to the gates of wisdom?"
-Yes. I am.-
"Please let me in, I just can't go through another heartache again."
Everywhere I look the sun is shining, but it's always raining here inside. He was my strongest weakness (to whom I surrendered my heart and soul). Until I regain control, it's gonna be a long, long time to heal. I'm afraid he'll always be.
I'm a prisoner, held captive by his memory...
I gave my faithful heart to someone. I could never understand how he held my little world in the palm of his hand. So if this pain will ever end, will I be afraid to risk it all to ever fall in love again? Now he's gone and life goes on.
And so it goes .... another lesson gets learned
And in the big book of experience, another page gets turned
Sayang kamu, rindu kamu, mau kamu! is nothing but a sweet lie.
Monday, July 17, 2006
How do I get out of this?
If ...
You gotta get into it before you get out of it
And you gotta get out of it before you get into it....
Now what?
You have to get into something before you reject it. You don't know what something is like or what someone is all about until you experience it or talk to them yourself. And you have to step away from something that's bad for you until it's too late.
When you know it's wrong and you want to get your life back to normal, you gotta get out before it takes hold of you.
What's happening to me...?
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Dear Dear...
I bumped into you and your friends that night as I was driving home, I knew.
I am sorry that I did not stop for a hello, nor did I look into your eyes and perhaps wink at you.
I didn't just think I can. Call me coward, I don't care.
But I knew you knew.
I'm hurt. Still.
I am sorry that I did not stop for a hello, nor did I look into your eyes and perhaps wink at you.
I didn't just think I can. Call me coward, I don't care.
But I knew you knew.
I'm hurt. Still.
By your side
Like a child again,I'm at a loss for words.
How does one define a crush combined with longing?
How does one define a crush combined with longing?
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
...in my life...
I've seen a lot of good times in my life, times when everything went so right. Seen a lot of things go wrong and I just don’t know why. Now that I’ve seen a lot of good times in my life, I had a bit of sadness in my life.
A friend of mine went down the other night, tried to sort it out. But now I just don’t know why I’ve had a bit of sadness in my life.
You see, I am a lonely, lonely, man. And what I got, I got together with my own two hands.
I wonder what am I gonna do to put things right. I’ve taken lots of chances in my life. Now one of them has changed me overnight, I’ve seen a glimpse of the other side. The lights are much too bright.
I got to do something with my life, got to make a change and put up a fight, stand on my own two feet and do it right.
A friend of mine went down the other night, tried to sort it out. But now I just don’t know why I’ve had a bit of sadness in my life.
You see, I am a lonely, lonely, man. And what I got, I got together with my own two hands.
I wonder what am I gonna do to put things right. I’ve taken lots of chances in my life. Now one of them has changed me overnight, I’ve seen a glimpse of the other side. The lights are much too bright.
I got to do something with my life, got to make a change and put up a fight, stand on my own two feet and do it right.
A quest to loneliness
Loneliness amidst people, happy when I am alone. Still, very popular among people.What's the reason?
Loneliness amidst people - Even when I am among my closest friends, I am still faced by the solemn fact that no one will ever completely know or understand me.
We all want to be understood, right? But no one will ever understand us... Sometimes, we don't even understand ourselves! When we can't be understood, when we start realizing that fact, when even our closest friends don't and can't understand... This leads to a despairing loneliness amidst people.
Happy when I'm alone - Solitude can take us away from life's bustle, away from the people that can't understand, away from the daily distractions. When we get away from those, our mind can calm down and think clearly. When we are calm and our mind is clear, it is more peaceful, and this peace, though temporary, can bring happiness to some extent.
I feel lonely most of the time - hence I talk and sing to myself, a lot. I guess it's because I put up strong defenses against people, which isolates me, but keeps me protected from being hurt. And I'm afraid that people won't like me.
What a bummer....!
Loneliness amidst people - Even when I am among my closest friends, I am still faced by the solemn fact that no one will ever completely know or understand me.
We all want to be understood, right? But no one will ever understand us... Sometimes, we don't even understand ourselves! When we can't be understood, when we start realizing that fact, when even our closest friends don't and can't understand... This leads to a despairing loneliness amidst people.
Happy when I'm alone - Solitude can take us away from life's bustle, away from the people that can't understand, away from the daily distractions. When we get away from those, our mind can calm down and think clearly. When we are calm and our mind is clear, it is more peaceful, and this peace, though temporary, can bring happiness to some extent.
I feel lonely most of the time - hence I talk and sing to myself, a lot. I guess it's because I put up strong defenses against people, which isolates me, but keeps me protected from being hurt. And I'm afraid that people won't like me.
What a bummer....!
Sunday, July 09, 2006
It's fiction! Who cares anyway...?
Jackson Square Jazz is a gay-theme fiction that I read recently, written by Greg Herren. It's a tale about one slut Scotty, a former go-go boy in New Orleans who cracked a long unsolved crime through a scintilla of clairvoyance and some dog-eared tarot cards.Reading the book, I am quite moved and inspired by Scotty's FBI boyfriend, Frank, who was living in DC and still believed in monogamous relationship between two men. Frank, after Scotty's one-week visit to his place in DC, was trying so hard to get in touch with him through never-picked-up phone calls and unreplied e-mails.
Moved, when I read his e-mail to Scotty, I did not give myself a second thought to republish it here in my previous post (Friday, June 30, 2006).....!
"My sweet love:
I'm starting to get a little concerned. I've called a couple of times and only get your voicemail, and this is the third letter I've sent since you left the other day, and you have yet to answer any of them. What's going on?
I realize I may be overreacting - I don't have a lot of experience with this relationship business - but I had such a great time with you here last week. It broke my heart to take you to the airport Friday - I wanted you to stay badly. I love you, Baby, and having you here with me only convinced me how right we are for each other.
That's why I am so nervous about not hearing from you...did I do or say something wrong? Did I piss you off in some way? Please know that if I did, it was certainly not my intent, and please accept my apology. I love you so very much - I can't imagine life without you now, Baby. Please let me know everything is okay.
Please.
With all my love,
Your Baby"
This e-mail wrote by Frank to Scotty can be found in Chapter 10, page 105-106 of the book.
Now, perhaps next time a simple question like,
"Hey, I happened to know something about you and now I'm confused and I demand an explanation. Do you want to tell me about it?"
might help instead of SMS:
"I hate you! I was so stupid to let go the one who loves me damn much to be with you, you fucking liar!"
That, out of a sudden and blurry.
Phew! Lega sudah....
Manager MISC, ok tak?
Friday, June 30, 2006
(Edited because of some silly misunderstandings)
This is an excerpt from "Jackson Square Jazz", written by Greg Herren.
I woke up alone at seven in the morning.
He was gone.
Again.
Big surprise, right?
Terrific. In my mind I heard the words, I will not be ignored, Baby.
My sweet love:
I'm starting to get a little concerned. I've called a couple of times and only get your voicemail, and this is the third letter I've sent since you left the other day, and you have yet to answer any of them. What's going on?
I realize I may be overreacting - I don't have a lot of experience with this relationship business - but I had such a great time with you here last week. It broke my heart to take you to the airport Friday - I wanted you to stay badly. I love you, Baby, and having you here with me only convinced me how right we are for each other.
That's why I am so nervous about not hearing from you...did I do or say something wrong? Did I piss you off in some way? Please know that if I did, it was certainly not my intent, and please accept my apology. I love you so very much - I can't imagine life without you now, Baby. Please let me know everything is okay.
Please.
With all my love,
Your Baby
He was gone.
Again.
Big surprise, right?
Terrific. In my mind I heard the words, I will not be ignored, Baby.
My sweet love:
I'm starting to get a little concerned. I've called a couple of times and only get your voicemail, and this is the third letter I've sent since you left the other day, and you have yet to answer any of them. What's going on?
I realize I may be overreacting - I don't have a lot of experience with this relationship business - but I had such a great time with you here last week. It broke my heart to take you to the airport Friday - I wanted you to stay badly. I love you, Baby, and having you here with me only convinced me how right we are for each other.
That's why I am so nervous about not hearing from you...did I do or say something wrong? Did I piss you off in some way? Please know that if I did, it was certainly not my intent, and please accept my apology. I love you so very much - I can't imagine life without you now, Baby. Please let me know everything is okay.
Please.
With all my love,
Your Baby
"Jackson Square Jazz"
Saturday, June 24, 2006
If only I could....
Just when I believed I couldn't ever want for more, this ever changing world pushes me through another door. I saw you smile and my mind could not erase the beauty of your face. Just for awhile, won't you let me shelter you?
Hold on to the nights, hold on to the memories
I wish that I could give you something more
That I could be yours....
How do we explain something that took us by surprise? Promises in vain, love that is real but in disguise. What happens now? Do we break another rule, let our lovers play the fool? I don't know how to stop feeling this way.
Hold on to the nights, hold on to the memories
If only I could give you more...
Well, I think that I've been true to everybody else but me. And the way I feel about you makes my heart long to be free. Everytime I look into your eyes, I'm helplessly aware that the someone I've been searching for is right there....
Hold on to the nights, hold on to the memories
I wish that I could give you something more
That I could be yours....
How do we explain something that took us by surprise? Promises in vain, love that is real but in disguise. What happens now? Do we break another rule, let our lovers play the fool? I don't know how to stop feeling this way.
Hold on to the nights, hold on to the memories
If only I could give you more...
Well, I think that I've been true to everybody else but me. And the way I feel about you makes my heart long to be free. Everytime I look into your eyes, I'm helplessly aware that the someone I've been searching for is right there....
Friday, June 23, 2006
We could be in love....
Be still my heart
Lately its mind is on it's own
It would go far and wide
Just to be near you
Even the stars
Shine a bit bright
I've noticed
When you're close to me
Still it remains a mystery
Anyone who seen us
Knows what's going on between us
It doesn't take a genius
To read between the lines
And it's not just wishful thinking
Or only me who's dreaming
I know what these are symptoms of
We could be in love
I ask myself why
I sleep like a baby through the night
Maybe it helps to know
you'll be there tomorrow
Don't open my eyes
I'll wake from the spell I'm under
Makes me wonder how
Tell me how
I could live without you now
And what about the laughter
The happy ever after
Like voices of sweet angels
Calling out our names
And it's not just wishful thinking
Or only me who's dreaming
I know what these are symptoms of
We could be in love
All my life I have dreamed of this
But I could not see your face
Don't ask why two such distant stars
Can fall right into place.........
Lately its mind is on it's own
It would go far and wide
Just to be near you
Even the stars
Shine a bit bright
I've noticed
When you're close to me
Still it remains a mystery
Anyone who seen us
Knows what's going on between us
It doesn't take a genius
To read between the lines
And it's not just wishful thinking
Or only me who's dreaming
I know what these are symptoms of
We could be in love
I ask myself why
I sleep like a baby through the night
Maybe it helps to know
you'll be there tomorrow
Don't open my eyes
I'll wake from the spell I'm under
Makes me wonder how
Tell me how
I could live without you now
And what about the laughter
The happy ever after
Like voices of sweet angels
Calling out our names
And it's not just wishful thinking
Or only me who's dreaming
I know what these are symptoms of
We could be in love
All my life I have dreamed of this
But I could not see your face
Don't ask why two such distant stars
Can fall right into place.........
Sunday, June 11, 2006
It's just good-bye...
The sweetest songs fade to echoes in the wind. The best of times must end, so a new day can begin and the dreams we dream that seem so real at night must meet the morning light and vanish from our sight.
Time was never on our side, we walked the road together and we came to the end. I won’t tell you not to cry, but I swear that what we had won’t die. I close my eyes and I still can see your face. I know the truth of us can’t be bound by time or space. And the joy that we shared, the magic that we’ve known is something that we own, though we may be alone.
It is not over. It doesn’t really matter why. I know what we had can never die, because I’ll always love you. Yes, I do.
So, it’s just good-bye.
The sun will come out, tomorrow
So you gotta hang on ’til tomorrow
Come what may...
Time was never on our side, we walked the road together and we came to the end. I won’t tell you not to cry, but I swear that what we had won’t die. I close my eyes and I still can see your face. I know the truth of us can’t be bound by time or space. And the joy that we shared, the magic that we’ve known is something that we own, though we may be alone.
It is not over. It doesn’t really matter why. I know what we had can never die, because I’ll always love you. Yes, I do.
So, it’s just good-bye.
The sun will come out, tomorrow
So you gotta hang on ’til tomorrow
Come what may...
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
It's called Daisy...
An action thriller written by Jae-young Kwak
Directed by Andrew Lau with: Jeon Ji Hyeon, Jung Woo-Sung, Lee Sung-Jae,Simon Yam, David Chiang, Min-sik Choi, Jang Hyuk
The flowers in "Daisy" as used as symbols for good and evil - white daisies for pure love, and black tulips for murder. It brings across the message that not everything that is beautiful is good, but what is meant for good, when done wrongly or at the wrong time, could lead to great disaster.
"Daisy" is unmistakably a sorrowful film, one that tells the tale of a love triangle that doesn't really promise a happily-ever-after ending. It is a romantic movie that also has other non-sentimental things, like crime, thrills and action, making this quite an un-ordinary romance tale.
Synopsis
It is autumn in Amsterdam. A man with a cold soul who smells of gun powder and a man as warm as the sunshine meet a very special woman. The woman is Hye-young (starring Jeon Ji-hyun), a young Korean artist who paints portraits in the city square, while dreaming of one day holding a solo exhibition of her works. She is a stranger in this city, and Hye-young’s only source of strength is the memory of her first love.
Then she meets a new man - well, almost meets him, she never really sees his face but after giving him a drawing of a daisy, he responds by having a pot of daisies delivered to her door every day. Could this be the start of a new love for the lonely young artist? At the same time, however, a second man enters Hye-young’s life, a stranger who keeps coming to her, asking her to draw his portrait.
That man she has been drawing is Jung-woo (starring Lee Sung-jae), an international agent based in Amsterdam. He first approached Hye-young, while in the line of duty, but was immediately mesmerized by her charms and beauty. She quickly assumed that he was the one giving her daisies and begins to fall for him. Jung-woo knows that he is not the one in Hye-young’s heart, but he feels he must remain quiet about the truth or lose her love forever.
Park Yi (starring Jung Woo-sung, really cute!) is really the one giving her flowers, the man Hye-young has been waiting for. He is forced to watch painfully as Hye-young and Jung-woo nurtured their love, unable to intervene - being an assassin, Yi is forbidden to have emotions and weaknesses such as love.
Finally, destiny brings all of their paths together, when Yi gets his next assignment for assassination - and discovers it is Jung-woo.
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